Losing That Weight

 

 

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Over the years, Pam has gone on a lot of diets so strange,
Unfortunately, when Pam dieted out there on the range,
I dieted too because it was too hard for her to succeed,
If I ate that good food in front of her in all my greed.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Losing That Weight

 

 

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While living in Fritch, Pam did often try to lose weight,
I recall hauling Pam, my sister, and Brenda a long ways,
All the way to Wichita, Kansas, to put staples in their ears
As an acupuncture method to loose weight, I fear.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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They paid $200 each to have a staple put in their ears,
So when they got hungry, they pulled their ear like dears,
To make those hunger pangs stop and go right away.
They didn’t lose any weight, but the Doctor got rich, I say.

Just tug on your ear lope if you get hungry.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Next, Pam put her and I on a boiled egg diet for 21 days,
I got 4 boiled eggs and celery sticks every meal that way.
I felt pretty stupid eating those eggs when I did play,
Noon bridge with the guys at work every single day.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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That diet gave me the trots which I think was the trick,
To make you loose weight as on that diet we did stick.
We were supposed to loose 21 pounds, but I lost eight,
That crummy egg and celery diet just wasn’t too great.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Next Pam put us both on weight watchers back then,
I remember carrots were free to eat as many as one can.
I ate so many on that diet that my crap turned orange,
I wondered if that was healthy as it seemed so strange.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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The weight watcher meals were awful on that diet,
I recall Pam fixed baked liver casserole for us to eat,
And I couldn’t stand to smell it there in that flat pan,
And that was the end of that diet for that young man.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Pam, Mom, and aunt BuelDine went to a fat Doctor then,
In Dumas, Texas, to get some special fat pills for them.
Once each week as they had to keep a very close watch,
On body chemical balance for that particular pill batch.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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I recall they had fun together on those weekly trips,
As they shopped after they got the pills for their hips.
I liked this program a lot as I didn’t have to eat slop.
They did lose weight, but we had to move and it did stop.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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When we got settled in our home in Bartlesville town,
Pam put us on weight watchers fast loss diet as I frowned,
But the meals were much better by then which was good,
And free cabbage soup was good so I ate all I could.

That zero point cabbage soup was pretty darn good, but it gave me lots of that bad gas.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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We both lost weight and we’re looking quite trim,
But we got off the diet and soon gained it back again.
We repeated this several times, then quit for good,
And we both got plump again like all old farts should.

Pam and I were pretty trim while we stayed on the diet.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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By Bill

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Thanks for reading Losing That Weight,
Bill