Oil Painted Toons

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Well here’s those oil painted toons I promised you,
I used a new oil paint called “colored pencil blue.”
I must say they look pretty darn good that way too,
You have to look close to tell the difference in the two.

 

 

 

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Oil Painted Toons

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This new batch of Bighead toons are just simple guys,
Doing simple things with all colors of Bighead eyes.
This first guy named Goober is hustling that pool,
So don’t play him or you’ll probably look like a fool.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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The next guy is named Daniel with a red squirrel hat,
He’s been out trapping bears and big things like that.
Maybe a trap is the way he killed a bear at age three,
Maybe that’s a ‘bare’ skin suit he’s wearing so loosely.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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That next guy named Dan is doing a very nasty job,
Unstopping that commode with brown floaters to swab.
He said it looks like a beanie baby is stuck down there,
Perhaps, it jumped off of the commode back on a tear.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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This blonde headed guy may be Lil’ Abners cousin,
Fixing to chug a lug some moonshine white lightnin’.
He’s been eye balling Daisy Mae with his blue eyes,
But I think she still likes those black headed guys.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Big Mac is on his forth Big Mac McDonalds burger,
That fast food has made his stomach grow bigger.
I looked in the mirror to draw those big old titties,
They are realistic, but some might say they look shitty.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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T. Bone is a hacker which seems to be common today,
But wait, he hacks meat not computers, I do say.
He could be a serial killer hacking people into chunks,
But he looks more like a butcher of cattle roast rumps.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Skinny Boy was so skinny he slipped through the B B gun,
He ate those carrots every single morning on the run.
Then he jogged 10 miles around the green park lake.
Keeping his weight down as few calories he did take.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Paul was a lumber jack way up in the northern woods,
Sometime he rolled on logs in the river cause he could.
He carried his favorite axe with him as he did play,
While singing “Rolling On The River”, Ike and Tina’s way.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Old Pin Head is outside swatting at buzzing wood bees.
I do this every spring to keep them thinned, you see.
Otherwise, they will eat all our house support beams,
Causing our home to topple down some day, it seems.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Kile the cowboy is next up for you to check out below,
He’s got the drop on someone you can’t see, I know.
But he’s wearing a big white hat so he is a good guy,
And the good guys always get their man on the fly.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Master Chin is offering to share his pipe for a smoke,
I wonder what is in that pipe that may cause me to choke.
I think I’ll just pass and leave all the smoking to Chin,
If it’s drugs in there, then only he will commit this sin.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Next we have the Frisco Kid with his blue cape on his back.
Wait, is that Wayco on Halloween going out with Zack.
I’ve seen him a few times kind of looking like that.
Luke was dressed up too as he filled his candy sack.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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I think that Bighead Rusty must have had a very bad day,
As his head in bowed down as he begins to pray.
Asking forgiveness for something that he must have done.
I believe Rusty will soon be forgiven and back on the run.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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I can tell Finnigan is an extremely fine loving guy,
As he has bought Mom some good chocolates, no lie.
He may have eaten one or two out of that big red box,
Like Forest Gump waiting for the bus on that block.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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It looks like Draq has turned over a brand new leaf,
Perhaps he has somehow changed his old beliefs.
Or that gold cross that he holds there in his hand.
Would be burning his hand as there he does stand.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Tommy has come in from the range where he roamed,
Where he found and old vase that he cleaned up at home.
As he rubbed it with a rag to shine it up for his den,
A genie popped out and asked “what is your wish” then.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Troll came out from under his bridge there in Fritch,
He was hungry looking for food like a big fat witch.
He had his big wooden club to knock them around with,
As he hopes that witch spell casting is just a myth.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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No name Bighead toon is a special wildlife magician,
He just turned a cane into a cobra there to be seen.
He’s fixing to give that cobra a real big old juicy kiss,
Maybe he will love it and they will live long in bliss.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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JoJo rides shotgun for the overland stage company,
He wears no shirt because he has chapped titties,
From bouncing around on that stage for two long days,
Wearing a wool shirt that rubbed them raw all the way.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Red is a bit mean and likes to play with his whacker,
He painted the handle of his whacker with lacquer.
And then it slipped through his hand a little faster.
One time it slipped plum out and was a big disaster.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Walter was a sailor in the Navy Sea Bees so neat.
Sometimes he fished of the side of his ship so sweet.
He caught a big tuna and took it to the ship’s mess,
Where they fixed tuna sandwiches the sailors did bless.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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By Bill

 

 

 

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Thanks for reading Oil Painted Toons,
Bill