My Greatest Fear

 

.My internal devils haunted me all through my younger years by tearing my guts out for days if I had to give a public speech. Here’s the story.

 

 

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My Greatest Fear

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Going to elementary school, junior high, and high school, I was petrified if I had to get up and speak publicly. This was about the only thing that scared me. This deep internal fear gnawed on me for days anytime I had to get up and speak.

Public Speaking just rips my guts out and makes me a total wreck for days before the speech.

 

 

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I knew in college, I would have to get up and speak occasionally, so I took a public speaking class at Frank Phillips Junior College to try to help me get over this terrible fear I had. Each time I had to give a speech, I would prepare and practice in front of a mirror for hours, but no matter how hard I tried, I always had a very fluttery stomach and an uneasy feeling for 24 hours before I had to give the speech. When I was on my feet in front of the class it was like an out of body experience. I could hear myself talking, but it sounded like my voice was coming from a long ways off, I’m sure my hands were shaking and my voice was cracking. I guess I was doing better that I thought I was, because I made an “A” in the class, but making the speeches nearly gave me an ulcer by the time it was over.

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I made it through Texas Tech College only having to give a few technical speeches which weren’t as bad as talking about some subject I knew nothing about or impromptu speeches. On the job as an engineer with Phillips, I still had trouble we speaking in front of a group although it was somewhat easier than it had been earlier in life, but I still got nervous. Phillips sent me to a public speaking class that lasted for several days which still bothered me some. In one of my speeches I told about my encounter with “Cannibals” in Papua New Guinea and the whole class applauded me after I was done. Had I finally overcome my fear of speaking?

 

 

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When I became a senior engineer, I finally overcame the fear of public speaking because I had to give speeches on an almost daily basis. By this time, I was sure I knew more about the subject about which I was speaking than anyone else in the room. This gave me the confidence I needed to speak with conviction and authority making my work much easier. Public life was so much easier for me in this part of my life.

There’s nothing to this public speaking. All you have to do is build enough confidence in yourself to put the fears to rest.

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I have not yet figured out how I could have instilled that confidence I needed to overcome my fear of public speaking at a younger age to relieve all the misery I went through in early life. Perhaps this is something you must be born with as some people seem to always be comfortable speaking in public?

 

 

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Thanks for reading My Greatest Fear,
Bill