Funeral Planner
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People spend a lot of their time planning their big wedding day
But rarely do you hear of someone planning a funeral their way.
I thought I would spend some time now while I am still here.
Planning mine to be sure I get what I want when I get there.
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Funeral Planner
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I prefer to have the service in a funeral service chapel here locally.
My family can select one they like best by discussing it vocally.
I want to be dressed in a comfortable sport shirt and some jeans.
With a closed casket there at my service, so I will not be seen.
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It would be nice if my family put some cool pictures of old Bill,
There on a board for anyone that wants to see at their own will,
Of the things that I just loved to do back in the history of me.
Most old friends I know probably don’t remember me, you see.
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For the entire service, I want old time gospel playing in the background,
I have selected the songs I want playing on Spotify I have found.
My iPad and my portable blue tooth speaker may be used if required.
Please don’t substitute for the songs I have already so acquired.
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I want three of the songs played loud during periods of silence,
The songs will be listed at the end of these verses with no suspense.
These are three of my favorites that deliver a message so clear,
That I have been delivered to heaven with the angels so near.
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I want a certified preacher to deliver my last rites that fine day,
But be limited to no more than 20 minutes for what he does say.
I just hate those guys that ramble on so long not saying too much,
So get me a preacher that will get it done with his special touch.
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I have written a blog story poem that is an autobiography of me.
Called “Billy Ray” out there on the Internet for everyone to see.
I would like one of my daughters to read it there for everyone,
And then my short sweet service will be completed and done.
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It would be nice if the poem “Billy Ray” was printed in the leaflet,
To to be handed out at the door with the pictures there with it.
To give people something to look at while they’re sitting there.
Waiting for the service to get rolling so they won’t have to stare.
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Out at the gravesite I want a big cooler full of Bud Light Beer,
With a sign that says, “here’s to one last beer as a toast with cheer,
To send old Bill on his way right up to heaven without any tears.”
I think this funeral will do just fine for a fond farewell if you dare.
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Please tell the preacher to keep the graveside short and sweet,
As I don’t want people uncomfortable in the cold or in the heat.
Just a few short words to send me on along on my long journey,
Will do fine and may leave people with a good feeling about me.
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By Bill
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Songs to be played loud.
- “Waiting At The Gate” by Kentucky Thunder
- “How Beautiful Heaven Must Be” by George Jones
- “I’m Going Home”. by Hank Williams
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Thanks for reading Funeral Planner,
Bill