Crazy Neighbors

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Moving to a new city with neighbors you know nothing about,
Is always a risk and sometimes the results just freak you out.
This poem discusses some neighbors that dealt us some stress,
After moving to Bartlesville and living at our current address.

 

 

 

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Crazy Neighbors

When we moved first to Bartlesville, the neighbors barged in
To welcome us before we finished unpacking with big ole grins.
As they got right in our way, drank a gallon of our grape juice,
And ate our chips, we wondered which asylum let them loose.

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Bill I didn’t think those crazy neighbors were ever going to leave. Let’s clean up this mess and get back to unpacking.

 

 

 

We wondered what the future had in store with crazies so close,
As we settled in to our new home in the neighborhood we choose,
It wasn’t too long before we knew these people were not normal
As the actions of these neighbors always caused a lot of turmoil.

 

 

 

We gave them names because their looks caused people to stare,
The lady we called “Bubble Butt” as it protruded way out there,
The man we called “Big Head” as it was big as a basketball,
Big Head and Bubble Butt had two young kids so very small.

 

 

 

Bubble Butt started asking Pam to keep her daughter and son
Two or three times a week for free while she went out to run.
They were 5 and 3 years old and they were not easy to control.
Bubble Butt stayed gone for hours as Pam’s free time she stole.

 

 

 

After being abused for a few weeks Pam told her that was the end,
The next week she left her daughter crying on our porch again.
She told her to ring the doorbell after she drove off down the road,
When she got back, on Bubble Butt, Pam did angrily unload.

 

 

 

Pam told her if she did it again, she was calling the city police.
That ended Bubble Butts presence and us her trying to fleece.
She must have told her children some very bad things about us,
As when they were playing outside, at us they often did cuss.

 

 

 

It was common to see their son running the sidewalks in the raw.
Once, he came naked to our yard and pooped there as we saw.
It’s bad enough cleaning crap up from the neighborhood dogs,
We wondered if Bubble Butt was letting her kids run free like hogs.

 

 

 

Many times Bubble Butt visited a neighbor man during the day,
We often wondered what was going on in there as his wife was away.
When their kids got older, Bubble Butt and Big Head moved,
This made us so very happy that we celebrated and grooved.

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Did you hear the good news Bill? Big Head and Bubble Butt moved out of the neighborhood today. Let’s break out some wine and celebrate.

 

 

 

A few years after Bubble Butt moved, we saw her in the headlines.
She had been caught molesting her son’s teenage friends drinking wine.
Her son turned her into the police and she was sentenced to prison,
We always believed that lady was crazy for many other reasons.

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I guess sometimes you run into people out there in the world,
That you must deal with even though they make your toes curl.
I guess we are thankful our neighbors were not serial killers,
Although Bubble Butt was bad enough and a backbone chiller.

 

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By Bill

 

 

 

Thanks for reading Crazy Neighbors,
Bill