Changing Metabolism

 

I guess when we change things in our bodies by adding equipment like a pacemaker, we can expect some changes in our metabolism also. This story touches on a change I never expected.

 

 

 

Changing Metabolism

 

On June 30, 2015, I had a pacemaker put in to bring my heart rate from about 35 to 40 bpm to a steady 60 bpm. It has functioned perfectly since it was installed, and it has really made me feel a whole lot better. I seem to have a lot less shortness of breath when I walk for some distance. However, the week after I had the pace maker installed, I started noticing changes in my metabolism. I was having a problem with constipation. I needed to go to the bathroom, but nothing would come out. One day I decided I was going to have a bowel movement before I left the throne that day, so I sat there and strained very hard while I kept shifting positions on the pot. Finally, I felt the slightest movement in my bowels, so I hammered down and the turd began to move toward the exit. It was a very slow and painful process as the giant turd began to ease out. I could then feel some much needed relief. I checked out the turd in the commode after it dropped off and it was a full 3 1/2 inches in diameter and about 7 inches long consisting of very hard packed poop like I have never seen before. I was sure glad for my annus’s sake that I hadn’t eaten any peanuts in the days before the drop. Also, I thought about the very real possibility of me straining so hard that it might cause hemorrhoids to develop, which is something that nobody wants to deal with.

 

This photo depicts how I felt as that giant turd was working its way out stretching parts of me, and sending me deep into the realm of extensive pain.

 

 

I was talking to my daughter about it later and I told her I thought the pain of getting that giant turd out the back door must have been kind of like the pain of having a baby. She assured me that I was wrong on that issue and the pain of having a baby was 100 times worse.

 

 

 

The only thing I can come up with for the reason my poop has become hard and difficult to get out the backdoor is that the pace maker increased my heart rate about 50% faster and I am pumping a lot more blood than I used to. Perhaps this has changed things within my body for the better. I thought perhaps this was an isolated incident and things would go back to like they were pre pacemaker, but I went through another painful bowel movement a few days later, so I started taking stool softeners and I have eliminated the pain for now. I guess they’ll have to add another warning for the pacemaker advertisements such as “Caution pacemakers may cause painful bowel movements.”

 

 

 

Thanks for reading Changing Metabolism,
Bill