Briefs

Briefs

 

Sometimes there are some very brief moments in our lives that make a big enough impact that they are embedded way down in the depths of our brain. Here are a few of mine.

 

 

Briefs


 

The Bath

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When my daughter Tamara was about 1 1/2 years old, we were living in Arroyo Verde in Fritch, Texas, Pam had taken our other daughter Kristi to her mothers house for a visit and left me instructions to give Tamara her bath. I put in the soap suds, drew the water, and tested it with my elbow to make sure it wasn’t too hot. I was carefully washing her with a soft wash cloth and noticed her straining a little bit. I thought I might be rubbing too hard so I eased up a little bit. All of the sudden a little brown turd popped up out of the water right in front of me. There was the end of a green bean sticking out the side of the turd. I thought to myself “she must not be chewing her food good before swallowing.” I picked Tamara out of the water, dried her off, and we went to the kitchen and got a set of tongs. I picked the green bean laden turd out of the water and flushed it down the commode. I drained the bathtub, scrubbed it with Lysol, and started over. I gave Tamara explicit instructions not to crap in the tub this time. I began to have a greater appreciation for the things my wife Pam did after that day.

 

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 Well Daddy when you’ve got to go, you’ve got to go.

 

 

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The Mouse

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I was sitting in the den one day and my daughter Kristi who was five years old came running into the room hollering “Daddy, Daddy, Monet’ (our pet toy poodle) has caught a mouse and is playing with it in the bedroom. I went in too take a look and sure enough she had the mouse trapped in the corner and every time he made a run for it, she would grab him and flip him back in the corner. We watched the show from a while, then I got a shoe box and put it over him. I reached in and got the mouse by the tail and headed for the bathroom. I was standing in front of the commode with my daughter Kristi on one side of the commode and my daughter Tamara on the other side. I dropped the mouse in the commode and flushed it. As the whirl pool caused by the flush was going around and around in the commode,the mouse was swimming upstream as fast as he could for about six rounds of the commode and disappeared into the depths of the sewer pipe. I watched my daughters faces as he was going down. Kristi had her sad face on and there was a little tear in the corner of her eye. Tamara was smiling big and waving goodby to the mouse until he was out of sight. I have to admit that I felt a little bad for the mouse as I knew he was headed for our cesspool in the backyard full of our family turds.

 

imageKristi and Tamara about the age we flushed the mouse down the commode.

 

 

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See you later little mouse enjoy the swim.

 

 

 

Mustard

 

When Kristi was about 1 1/2 years old, Pam and I were going to dinner one Sunday out at my Mom and Dad’s house on Stark Street in Phillips. Pam had already gone in and I had just stepped on the front porch with when I heard a bloop sound and I knew what was coming. I held Kristi out away from my body and the mustard started running out of her diaper like crazy. I honestly had no idea that much runny crap could come out of a child so small. There was a circle of runny mustard crap about 18 inches in diameter on the porch and Kristi was still dripping. It looked like a combination of the squash and apple sauce baby food she had been eating, but it didn’t smell like the baby food. I called for help from Pam and she came and got Kristi and took her inside to clean her up. I went and got my Dads water hose and washed off the porch and we had a nice pot roast meal. Funny how it’s the bad experiences we sometimes remember the best.

 

imageKristi sometime after she dropped the mustard on the porch.
 

imageDoes anyone care for a little mustard? 
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Thanks for reading Briefs,
Bill