The Last Ham On Rye
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This is a Hawg Jaw Tall Tale that I put in the trash,
I dug it out as I am now about to have a blog crash.
So I think again that this one could be my very last,
As I have run my race and am now dragging my ass.
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In 2042, the swine flu ran rampant amongst the hogs and pigs,
They were dying fast over the world in an epidemic so big.
By mid year there were only a few pigs left in the USA,
And they were sterile to reproduce no more in their day.
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The Last Ham On Rye
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In the year 2043, the last pig had been butchered and prepared,
I had been able to acquire a few slices of ham smoked and cured.
And was now down to my very last slice about 3/8 inch thick.
Wondering how I was going to eat that hunk of ham I did pick.
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Perhaps, I could chop it up mixed with some potato chunks,
And make some ham hash that some people call junk.
But wait, you make hash with leftover meat not new ham,
And this way that fresh ham might even taste like spam.
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Ham and eggs with hash browns and nice hot coffee,
Is always good for breakfast to start the day off comfortably.
But it is already way past noon and it doesn’t seem right.
To eat a big breakfast in the afternoon almost at night.
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I could cut my ham up to put it into a big old pot of beans,
With an onion sliced and a handful of jalapeños so green.
But this would surely cause bad gas pressure soon to start,
And fill our whole house with the smell of those awful farts.
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A ham loaf with eggs, peppers, onions, and red sauce,
Might taste good after being cooked done at little cost,
But I would have to grind that last piece of ham like hamburger,
And it does not seem fit as I consider it to be ham murder.
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I could cut the ham into 3/8 inch chunks in a chef salad,
With eggs, cheese , lettuce, and tomatoes, for this lad,
But then it would seem like I was on some kind of a diet,
Trying to loose many pounds of my wrinkled body weight.
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I am quickly running out of food options for my ham slice,
Thus, I am running out of ideas for a good meal so nice.
I would like the last ham slice to be very special for me,
And I just had a thought that just reeks with speciality.
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I guess maybe I could make a sandwich with that ham,
On fresh rye bread being the exciting guy that I am.
I once saw a very good movie called “The Last Samurai”,
So I could call my fine sandwich “The Last Ham On Rye.”
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Yes, “The Last Ham On Rye” is a meal fit for a king,
And I will eat every bite of that special delicious thing,
With a nice tall glass of my favorite Chardonnay wine,
Thinking all the time “The Last Ham On Rye” is all mine.
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I would invite you to dinner, but after all I am a Hawg,
And there will only be enough to feed me in my blog,
So I’ll dine all alone like a very selfish hungry guy,
Enjoying my Chardonnay and “The Last Ham On Rye”.
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By Bill
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Thanks for reading The Last Ham On Rye,
Bill