Hawg Jaw Shorts
.
I’ve had a lot of strange experiences in my long life,
Many of which have dealt me just a little bit of strife.
These short experiences are captured in this poem,
In single verses about things that kept me a going.
.
Hawg Jaw Shorts
.
I remember a time that I stole a big cigar,
Smoking it on the way home, not too far.
I turned a bit green and was sick as a dog,
Teaching me stealing was not for the Hawg.
.
.
.
I wish that I could sit down and pee,
So my wife wouldn’t yell so loud at me.
When I get pee upon that commode lid,
Just like I did back when I was a kid.
.
.
I once had a young cousin named Roy Scott,
Who agitated me every chance that he got.
Once he poured dirty dog bath water on me,
And I chased him two hours, that boy could fly.
.
.
I really love those good brown beans,
But inside they really do treat me mean,
Causing pressure to build inside of me,
Until I release putrid nasty farts, you see.
.
.
I had a neighbor with a big brown bird dog,
That crapped out turds as big as a log.
In my front yard while out loose on the run.
Until I shot him in the ass with my B B gun.
.
.
I hate too have a runny nose that drips,
Filling my mustache with goo to the tips.
That big hairy thing covered with goo.
Makes me feel that I have the swine flu.
.
.
We had a cat that loved me to stroke her fur,
When I did this she always began a soft purr.
I would then tickle her paw hair with a string.
And she would attack with claws just a flying.
.
.
One time I ate some food that had some rot,
And my stomach was rumbling quite a lot,
I had a pain and headed to the commode.
But I filled my pants with chili on the road.
.
.
I had a wiener dog that was named Hugo,
Who went fishing with us when we did go.
One time a rattlesnake bit him on the jaw,
And his head swelled up like a volleyball.
.
.
Sometimes I drop gravy right in my beard,
Until someone points it out and I feel weird,
It’s hard to get out stuff that sticks so tight,
Embarrassing me a lot there in the lime light.
.
.
By Bill
.
Thanks for reading