Dog Doody
.
When we lived in Arroyo Verde at Fritch, Texas out in the boonies,
There was a bird dog that used my yard as a potty like a looney.
Dropping a load there each day when his owner let him out to run.
This poem relates an experience I had there that was no fun.
.
.
.
Dog Doody
.
Have you ever been working hard out in the yard and then come in,
To get a cold drink of water and to just sit and rest a while then,
When you get a whiff of that awful smell you know to be dog shit,
Then looked at your foot and there’s a big blob of dog poo on it.
.
.
.
.
..
.
I take off my shoe and as it gets closer to the nose on my face.
The smell knocks me over with that mashed turd there in place.
I get up and backtrack to see if I have made a big nasty mess,
And see lots of little wads of dog shit where I stepped, I do confess.
.
.
.
.
I call Pam into the room to show her what I had done to the floor,
And she gets the mop as she pushes me right out the back door.
I grab a stick and start scraping that crap off the bottom of my shoe,
Stirring a new batch of aroma grossing me out before I get through.
.
.
.
.
I get out my pocket knife to finish getting off the last shit bits,
Then think, I better not use that blade and peel my apple with it.
Finally, I wash off my shoe with an old wet wash rag and it’s clean.
It had taken Pam and I an hour to clean up and I was feeling mean.
.
.
.
.
I walked on out into the front yard to look around for a while,
I saw three mounds of dog doody there all looking fresh in piles.
It was all from the bird dog that lived across the street so near.
Every morning he took a shit on my front yard with much care.
.
.
.
.
..
.
I guess I don’t blame him for not craping there in his own yard,
But, he was not going to use my yard so I put up my own guard.
And stung him on the left butt cheek with a bee bee gun shot,
When he hunched up to drop a load in my front yard at some spot.
.
.
.
.
..
.
He jumped straight up in the air and took off like a scared rabbit,
Never again in my yard to resume his nasty load dropping habit.
It seemed strange that only one butt cheek sting was all it took,
But it scared him so much, he didn’t return for another look.
.
Okay big boy, just act like your going to crap in my yard and I’ll pop you in the butt.
.
.
.
.
.
.
So my dog doody stepping days were now over and done then,
Making me a happy guy as I had solved a bad problem once again,
And making Pam happy as she didn’t have to clean up anymore,
Removing the dog poo that I had tracked in on her clean floor.
.
.
.
.
Sometimes when you want to solve a dog crap problem forever,
Remove the source of the crap on your first great endeavor,
And you will be out of the woods being sure that you never,
Step in a nasty pile of that dog doody as you have been so clever.
.
.
.
.
By Bill
.
.
.
Thanks for reading Dog Doody,
Bill