The Things We Did

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When we were just kids looking for fun things to do,
We often found things that were so far out in the blue,
This poem talks of some of the things that we did,
Without thinking too much, but just being kids.

 

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The Things We Did

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When we were still in the Phillips Elementary School,
Some of the things we did were just not too cool.
We were just fine young boys sowing our wild oats,
So don’t get upset at some of the things that I wrote.

 

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When it would snow and in the snow no marks could you see.
We would write our whole name in the snow with our pee,
We wrote in cursive and and the yellow writing was so bold,
Even though the writing instrument was shriveled up in the cold.

 

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Sometimes we were down in the canyons messing around,
And we had to crap with no paper to wipe off the brown.
We grabbed a handful of grass or leaves and wiped our butts clean,
Being careful not to use poison Ivy or sharp Johnson grass greens.

 

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We always carried a magnifying glass to focus the suns rays,
And we would find an ant bed and fry hundreds of them in a day.
They smelled really bad as they were burned to a small crisp,
And we often got stung on the legs and then went away pissed.

 

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In the summer we would catch several big flying June Bugs,
And carefully tie a string around their tummy with a small tug.
Then we would race them in circles to determine a winner.
We released the champ and with the rest fed the dog his dinner.

 

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When we found a big green tomato worm in the tall grass,
We would slip it in a small jar and take it straight to our class.
We slipped them the in cute girls desks and laughed off our ass,
When they found it in the desk, screamed, and disrupted the class.

 

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Sometimes we bought laxative gum and gave it to class dummies
On days we had chili dogs, so when they felt a rumble in the tummy,
They thought the chili dogs were to blame for their troubles,
When they had to run to the bathroom very fast on the double.

 

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Sometimes we bought liquid cinnamon from the pharmacy,
And put ten toothpicks in the small bottle very carefully.
We would pull them out in class for a big flavor burst in the mouth,
One time I spilled the liquid and the smell cleared out the house.

 

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I remember one time I was deep into drawing fine modern art,
So I drew pictures all over my wooden desk with ink for a start.
The girl in front of me with the long black hair ratted me out,
So I got my butt busted with a wooden paddle so stout.

 

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We used fountain pins that had a lever to suck up the blue Ink,
If you reversed the procedure, the ink would blow out in a wink.
So I aimed my pin at the tattling girl in front and pulled the lever fast,
And sprayed an ugly ink pattern all over her cute little ass.

 

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I don’t really know why I did some of the bad things that I did,
I guess I must have been a rotten to the core dumb little kid,
But when I think about it for a while, no one really got hurt,
Except the ants, and they stung me under my pants and my shirt.

 

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By Bill

 

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Thanks for reading The Things We Did,
Bill