The BS Degree

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During the years I supervised young engineers with many degrees.
They all had a Bachelor Of Science in Engineering seemingly,
A few of them had another BS degree that fit them better you see.
Let’s call it the “Bull Shitting me” degree as they did their job poorly.

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The BS Degree

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One of the “BS me” guys was there on my Oklahoma City staff.
Every job I gave him and he turned in to me was a big laugh,
I couldn’t believe he actually had an engineering degree back then.
I actually ran a background check to see if he graduated and when.

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I sent him into the field to get data for an plant expansion basis.
We had to test plant performance for a base performance case.
I gave him some long mercury thermometers to put in thermowells,
When I looked, they were upside down, and I said “what the hell.”

 

 

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I asked him if he was sure he had gotten all the way through school,
And he actually thought that I was being to him so very cruel.
Because he didn’t know which end of a thermometer went down.
And all day long, he was worthless while his face wore a frown.

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We did get that plant expansion project installation justified.
So I sent Mike, my “BS me” guy, to Bartlesville to help from our side.
After a week, the Process Engineer called me with a hard complaint,
Saying Mike didn’t have a clue, and l said I sent him to train.

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After six weeks in Bartlesville, Mike came back BSing once more,
The Process Engineer said don’t send him back here anymore.
We put in the expansion and started it up with no problems to show.
But Mike still did not even understand the plant process flow.

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The one thing Mike was good at was throwing all that bull shit.
He could tell a story that sounded like he knew everything about it,
Not only was he the absolute worst engineer I had ever seen,
He also did not have an ounce of common sense in his bean.

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I liked young Mike as a guy just to talk to about worldly things,
But I had to make progress on all those projects my boss did bring.
So he wasn’t much use to me as an engineer to get things done,
Which was hard on me as I had to pick up his whole load and run.

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The last I heard, Mike quit Phillips and went to work for Mustang Gas,
I was so glad to hear this that I nearly laughed off my big ass.
I guess he used his BS skills to sell himself to that company,
While unloading his dead weight from Phillips so very quickly.

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By Bill

 

 

Thanks for reading The BS Degree,

Bill