Stampede

There’s one little word that makes women go stark raving mad,
They lose all their senses and any patience that they ever had.
They’ll knock you on down and stomp you too without fail.
If you’re in their path when they see the tiny little word “SALE.”

 

 

 

 

Stampede

Why there’s such a rush to get to the sale, I just don’t know.
It’s like it was the opening of a world premiere movie show.
They’ll wait in line for many hours just to get in to fight like mad
For something they don’t even need, it’s really very very sad.

 

 

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The women get ugly rude and call each other very bad names,
While pushing and scratching just like it was a rugby game.
The clothes fly out of the bins being ripped apart by their hands.
As the sales people hide to survive the worst battle in the land.

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That is mine, let go now or I’ll pinch your titty.

 

 

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I see a woman that was tripped and hit the tile floor very hard,
She screamed loud as her small body impact really had jarred,
As she was looking for someplace where she could pin the blame,
She saw a rack of dresses coming out and forgot her body pain.

 

 

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I hear a sales lady say this is the very last half price iPad today,
And five women head for the counter with claws out and say,
“I want it” almost as one as they pushed and shoved each other.
I wonder how they solve this issue as they’re cussing one another.

 

 

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I’m thinking this is the very best show I’ve seen all year so far,
As I move into the toy department where they’re  featuring a Lego car.
Two women have the last box in their hand negotiating a plan.
I see them flip a coin and one lady said “oh shit” just like a man.

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That last Lego Car should have been mine, i think she had a two headed coin.

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As I’m leaving the store, I see ladies leaving with loads of stuff,
They have everything from kids clothes to pillow stuffing fluff.
I wonder why they bought so much junk at this small little sale,
Then I saw two nice ladies that I would have liked to put in jail.

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 Look Brenda, they have the 60″ LG TV on sale for half price, let’s get two apiece.

 

 

 

It was my wife Pam and aunt Brenda with two loaded carts.
I asked about all that unneeded stuff, which wasn’t too smart,
They said it will all be used eventually, and it was very cheap.
As I tried to figure that out, they said not to say another peep.

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.So good sense goes under the table when there is a big sale,
I figured it would be best if I just stayed home, as a lone male,
Or face the consequences from the girls after they went berserk,
Then act like I’m happy for all the bargains they got for the work.

 

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I would rather stay home and write a blog than go to a sale anyway. I hope they get some shopping cramps.

 

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By Bill

 

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Thanks for reading Stampede,
Bill