Playing The Reel Slots
.
Last year we won two $20,000 jackpots on the reel slot machines,
You would think we would be ahead for the year feeling so fine,
But when you win one, you think you can always win some more,
And go back and play on their money until your arm is so sore.
.
.
.
Playing The Reel Slots
.
.
When I was gambling on a Red Ruby slot machine so very fine,
I would rub Ruby’s tit before I pressed the button each time.
Very soon I hit a big jackpot so it seemed logical I would be rich,
But the next time she took it all back like a red headed bitch.
.
Come on Red Ruby drop that 7 on down.
.
.
.
.
.
.
I saw another lady gambling out there that tried something too,
She was playing a Crazy Bill Gold Strike machine there on cue.
It seemed logical to her that if she rubbed her tits on Crazy Bill,
That he would give her gold, but all she got was a big tit chill.
.
Hey Tamara, I got one on Crazy Bill next to you.
.
.
.
.
.
.
I watched one young lady that stood at the corner like a tease.
She rubbed all her body on Crazy Bill as if him she could please.
For a while she was doing real good and I almost tried it on Red,
But Crazy Bill took all her money after he went cold and was dead.
.
.
.
.
Sometimes when I played Mr Money Bags not doing very good,
I would punch him in the balls until he gave me a hit like he should.
I really don’t think those ball punches hurt Mr Money Bags much,
But they made me feel better until he let go of money at my touch.
.
Sometimes those ball punches worked good.
.
.
.
..
.
My daughter Tamara played Red Ruby sometimes in the past,
She said if you could find a machine with Ruby winking fast,
You would surely hit a jackpot without spending much cash.
I hunted and watched and found a fast winker, then lost my ass.
.
Ruby winks and flips her hair at some unknown frequency.
.
.
.
.
.
.
After we played the VGT slots we figured out what was going on,
There was a bingo card on the top screen to watch for patterns.
There were five rows of bingo numbers there to be used to play,
2 and 3/4 rows were there at the start of a game there to stay.
.
.
.
.
More numbers keep coming out to use for each play to fill the rows.
Then it resets with new stationary numbers to start over, you know.
We figured out soon that you have a much better chance to hit,
If you waited until nearly all the numbers are out to punch it.
.
The white numbers are just starting on this view. We waited until about the middle of the forth row down before our first punch spending money.
.
.
.
.
.
.
So we would sit and wait until almost all the numbers were out,
Then punch 3 or 4 times and we did very well letting out shouts.
The Casinos figured out what we were doing to beat the system,
And fixed them not to turn red and spin when played only at the end.
.
.
.
.
So don’t ever think you can out smart those Casinos forever,
As the records they keep and all of those cameras make them clever.
They even give you cards with perks to keep good track of us all.
So they can program them however they want to make us fall.
.
.
.
.
Let’s face it gambling is no way to get rich so don’t bet you will,
I’ve tried it quite a bit and it always catches up with old wild Bill.
So keep your money in your pocket and you’ll be much better off,
Or you can gamble and you will end up with a final overall lifetime loss.
.
.
.
.
Beware Casinos will take your money!!!
.
.
.
By Bill
Thanks for reading Playing The Reel Slots,
Bill