Just A Jawing
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Sometimes we just have to write about things a little bit gross,
To tell the story of somethings about which we never do boast.
This poem hits on some of those things to prepare you for later,
You may read them with care or just say “See You Later Alligator.”
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Just A Jawing
At times I get in the mood to write about the side of me so weird,
I wrote about ticks on the scrotum and hemorrhoids that appeared.
There was fart sounds and cutting the cheese blogs there too.
I guess I might just write about anything before I am through.
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Featured picture from the “Farts” blog, a must read.
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I wrote about the “Nut Cracker” who we thought tortured boys,
And crapping in paper sacks them setting afire our fun to deploy,
What, you don’t remember those blogs from back there awhile.
Well maybe you better go back and check out those old files.
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“The Nut Cracker” from a past blog, it’s a thriller.
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In months past, I have written poems that were a little bit raw,
My sweet wife Pam told me I should never publish them at all.
But I’ve come to a point in my Hawg Jaw life that the time is right.
So I’m digging them out of my trash and brushing them off tonight.
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I’ll give you fair warning that they may just turn your own tummy,
If you can work up enough guts to read them, they may be funny.
But the subjects are just a little on the gross side making you sick,
So be careful that you go slow and don’t read them too quick.
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.The first is named “Boogers” that I wrote quite some time back.
It’s about those green things that reside there in our nose cracks.
I ask Carl if I should publish the blog title just a little while ago.
He said no, but he was rolling his fingers together real slow?
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Don’t dig for boogies until the picture is taken…But I’m hungry George!
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The second is titled “The Engineer In Me” that discusses the same.
It presents a quick measure of bravery by a ball size ratio game.
It’s just a silly thing that popped into my mind one day as I sat.
With no real basis for the unfounded conclusions made like that.
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.It’s not appropriate to talk about balls in a blog. I refuse to read it.
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If you decide you want to read them, you better do it real fast,
Before Facebook censors them and takes them down at last.
But if they do that, you can still read them going to the Internet,
As they will be out there until the world ends and we all forget.
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I wrote another one called “What Do You Call Yours” one time,
Discussing why men name their peckers and talk to them sometimes.
When I was a kid, I named mine “Duke” and we chatted now and then,
But Pam talked me into totally deleting it and it’s gone with the wind.
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Anyone that talks to their pecker should be banned from writing.
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Shucks, a conversation with Duke can be very stimulating sometimes.
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When my daughters put together the book with the story of my life,
They can edit these all out if gives them both too much strife.
But the truth is these are truly part of who I am and have been,
And it won’t be a complete story without some of the bad therein.
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So the next two blogs you see will be about boogers and engineers,
You have indeed been warned, so I know you will read with no fear.
After these two hit the press, I will again take another little rest.
But I’ll never again say I did quit, as I’ll be back soon at my best.
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By Bill
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Thanks for reading Just A Jawing,
Bill