Camping Pointers
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If you like the great outdoors as much as I so often did as a boy,
Some of the camping pointers given herein you may employ,
Most of the pointers came from errors that I made over the years,
So read them before you hit the outdoors living like a pioneer.
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Camping Pointers
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When I was a young boy enjoying my life in my prime a while ago.
I was in the Boy Scouts and we went camping a lot you know.
At first on those trips when we camped, I made lots of mistakes,
But finally, I learned some things that made camping out so great.
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Don’t pitch you tent right next to the clear river out in Colorado,
Because if it rains a lot upstream, the river may begin to grow.
And wash you and the tent away while sleeping there so slow.
I can assure you that water is very cold and will shrivel you so.
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Don’t pitch your tent on sandy soil if you want it to stay in place,
The tent pegs won’t hold if the wind blows and you will race,
To catch that tent blowing along in your underwear in the night.
So be sure to pitch that tent on very firm soil to put it up right.
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Don’t ever pitch your tent on low ground in the Texas Panhandle,
As thunder storms blow in dumping 2 inches of rain so substantial.
Causing instant floods that rush down the low ground in a flash.
Washing every thing away that’s in the path on the big splash.
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Don’t camp out in the winter when the nights are freezing cold,
Unless your own sleeping bag is rated for fifty below zero or so.
Or you will freeze your young ass off all night not sleeping a wink,
Laying in your bag shivering a lot as your pecker does shrink.
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When cooking pancakes for breakfast use a Coleman Stove,
Don’t try to cook them in an open fire on a grill up over the coals,
Or your pancakes may be raw in the middle and charred black outside,
Requiring lots of syrup, to that very raw and charred taste hide.
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If you make campfire coffee by putting the grounds in the pot,
And boiling the pot with grounds in the water until it’s very hot,
Take a fine cloth to strain the grounds out as you pour a cup,
Or you’ll be picking grounds from your teeth after you drink it up.
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Do not fix a pot of brown beans to eat out on a camping trip,
If you are all sleeping in the same tent and that gas begins to rip,
The tent will be closed up to keep those big mosquitos outside,
So you’ll be trapped in a gas chamber smelling farts there inside.
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Be sure you take lots of mosquito repellent camping with you,
To keep the blood suckers from biting knots on you as they chew.
Without the repellent, you will be slapping and scratching all over,
As those dive bombers attack you from above you in a hover.
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Most of the camping mistakes discussed here in this rhyme,
I have made myself causing much misery over a period of time.
So when you go out into Mother Nature’s beautiful world to play,
Use that brain of yours well, and you will surely enjoy your stay.
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By Bill
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Thanks for reading Camping Pointers,
Bill