Things That Irk Me

 

I pulled this last blog from the trash to end this run,
It’s a little on the gross side and you may not have fun,
Reading about the yucky stuff that I wrote all about,
But now you’re curious and will read on there’s no doubt.

 

 

 

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You know when you see one of those awful things,
That turn your stomach and the puke nearly springs,
These are the things I’ll be talking about some today,
So get prepared and read on down or be on your way

 

 

 

 

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Things That Irk Me

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The other day I saw a guy coming out of a Wallmart door,
He bent over, put a finger on his nose, and blew hard core,
A giant Loogy of snot flew out on the sidewalk there.
As I walked in, it was lying there irking me bad, I swear.

 

 

 

 

 

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One time I went to get a haircut after enchiladas I ate,
When I was through, I needed to go bad, I could not wait.
The shop pot was already full of crap so I gave it a flush,
The pot ran over and crap overflowed dumping slush.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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So I left the haircut shop telling them about the shop pot,
Holding my cheeks together tight not feeling so hot.
I barely made it home running to the commode rapidly.
irked the shop hadn’t unclogged their own pot expediently.

 

 

 

 

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We were eating at restaurant in Dewy the other day,
When two guys came in and sat down in the next bay.
One of them coughed deeply just like he had the flu,
Always turning his face uncovered our way, it’s true.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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This irked me no end that guy even came out to eat,
To expose others to his sickness eating his meat.
I wanted to punch him right in the sick nose real hard,
But he could likely whip my old ass sick, on my best guard.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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One night at the casino this guy smoking a nasty cigar,
Kept sitting next to me choking me up with that tar.
I kept moving and he followed me around everywhere.
This irked me really bad as I continued to gamble there.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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I had a big bowl of brown beans earlier on that day
And I felt that rumble way down deep inside, I say.
That guy sat down and I let it rip and he moved away.
I followed him gassing him good to make my day.

 

 

 

 

 

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Sometimes it irks me a bit to see a kid eat a booger,
Fresh out of his little nose without even any sugar.
But when I think back to when I was just a little kid,
It may have been one of the bad things I myself did.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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I seem to remember boogers have a very salty taste,
So perhaps I didn’t want that salty snack to waste,
When I was a little hungry while out in the backyard,
But anyway, it still irks me, even if the boogs are crusty hard.

 

 

 

 

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When Pam reads this she will surely say out loud,
“Why do you write crap like this and put it on the cloud?”
And then I look back over at her and do calmly reply,
” l guess it’s because I’m sort of a wild and crazy guy!”

 

 

 

 

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By Bill

 

 

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Thanks for reading Things That Irk Me,
Bill